Tests Suck.

I'm taking my exam right now, but all i want is to sit in that chair again.

Hasselhoff. Hooked On A Feeling.



Okay, You can find the following article here, but for convienence, I'm posting it below as well, because I love it.

Saturday, January 28, 2006

Colbert and the dissonance between religion and comedy.

Steve Colbert describes the set of "The Colbert Report": Everything on the show has my name on it, every bit of the set. One of the things I said to the set designer—who has done everything, I mean even Meet The Press, he does that level of news design—was "One of your inspirations should be [DaVinci's painting] The Last Supper." All the architecture of that room points at Jesus' head, the entire room is a halo, and he doesn't have a halo." And I said, "On the set, I'd like the lines of the set to converge on my head." And so if you look at the design, it all does, it all points at my head. And even radial lines on the floor, and on my podium, and watermarks in the images behind me, and all the vertices, are right behind my head. So there's a sort of sun-god burst quality about the set around me. And I love that. That's status.

Speaking of Colbert and religion: Did you see his show on Thursday, with Paul Begala as the guest? Begala is going on about how he needed to teach Bill Clinton how to get his ideas across in short, simple form for the news. Begala describes how he made his point to Bill Clinton, who was bellyaching about how his wonky policies couldn't be condensed into sound bites. Begala reached in his back pocket and pulled out a copy of the New Testament that he's been carrying since 1979. At this point on the show, Begala actually pulls out the tattered, taped-together book and says he highlighted John 3:16 and handed it to Clinton. Begala hands the opened book to Colbert, points to the verse, tells Colbert to read it, and says he's going to time him to prove -- as he proved to Clinton -- how much can be said in 5 seconds. Colbert takes a slight glance at the book, flips it shut, looks straight at Begala and says, "For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, that those who believe in him shall not die but have eternal life." Begala says, triumphantly, "Four and a half seconds!" And Colbert says "That's the Christian sound bite."

I was struck by this moment on the show. The interview was going very well -- Begala speaking crisply (about speaking crisply) and Colbert slipping in perfect zingers. And then Begala wants to use the New Testament to prove a point about how he got through to Clinton. I felt that, reciting the verse, Colbert was not being the Colbert Report character but that his own religion was dictating that he had to say the verse as a demonstration of his own faith, and it wasn't right to fool around with that. I can't say why I feel so sure. The Colbert character would, I think, have been more pleased with himself to know the verse. You'd have felt the preen. I experienced this moment as a startling statement of faith, the kind of thing you don't normally see on TV.

The subject of Colbert and religion is an interesting one. He used to do "This Week in God" on "The Daily Show." When he was on "Fresh Air" a year ago, he talked about religion with Terry Gross:

Mr. COLBERT: This Week in God is--you know, This Week in God is, for me, a tightrope, because I--while I'm, you know, not a particularly religious person, I do go to church, which makes me kind of odd for my profession. You know, most people can't understand why I do, other comedians. And I have to walk that thin line because I don't want to criticize anyone's religions for the fact that it is a religion, and what's funny to me is what people do in the name of religion....
GROSS: Now you grew up in a family with--What?--11 children?
Mr. COLBERT: Yeah, I'm one of 11 kids. I'm the youngest.
GROSS: And was it a religious family? You say you go to church and...
Mr. COLBERT: Oh, absolutely.
GROSS: Yeah.
Mr. COLBERT: We're, you know, very devout and, you know, I still go to church and, you know, my children are being raised in the Catholic Church. And I was actually my daughters' catechist last year for First Communion, which was a great opportunity to speak very simply and plainly about your faith without anybody saying, `Yeah, but do you believe that stuff?' which happens a lot in what I do.
GROSS: Can I ask you a kind of serious question about faith?
Mr. COLBERT: I've been turning all of your funny questions into serious things for an hour or so. I don't see why you can't do the same to me.
GROSS: In the sketch we heard earlier from "This Week In God," you talked about the Christian pharmacist who refused to fill a prescription for birth control.
Mr. COLBERT: Right.
GROSS: Now the Catholic Church opposes birth control, which...
Mr. COLBERT: They do.
GROSS: ...I presume you do not and...
Mr. COLBERT: Presume away.
GROSS: ...so how do you deal with contradictions between, like, the church and the way you live your life, which is something that a lot of people in the Catholic Church have to deal with?
Mr. COLBERT: Well, sure. You know, that's the hallmark of an American Catholic, is the individuation of America and the homogenation of the church; homogenation in terms of dogma. I love my church and I don't think that it actually makes zombies or unquestioning people. I think it's actually a church that values intellectualism, but certainly, it can become very dogmatically rigid.Somebody once asked me, `How do you be a father'--'cause I'm a father of three children--`and be anti-authoritarian?' And I said, `Well, that's not nearly as hard as being anti-authoritarian and being a Roman Catholic,' you know? That's really patting your head and rubbing your belly at the same time. I don't know. You know, I don't believe that I can't disagree with my church and I'll leave it at that.

I don't have a conclusion I'm driving at here. I love Steve Colbert and "The Colbert Report," and I'm fascinated by religion and comedy and the way the dissonance between the two affects a performer who is actually a believer.

UPDATE: Ambivablog questions my use of the word "dissonance." So let me say that I mean it in a good way. It's more difficult to be comical around a subject you respect, and working through a difficulty makes what you do more interesting. By contrast, when George Carlin jokes about religion, his comedy on the subject feels cheap and thin, because it's just flat-out obvious that he hates religion. I'd much rather listen to Colbert on the subject, and not just because I'm not entertained by hate. Colbert has to struggle with a problem, and he chooses to make comedy out of a subject that is complicated for him. I love that.

ADDED: You can listen to the great interview with Terry Gross here.


On The Road Again

Hour 4 of the drive.




Dancing Biker


Version 2.0

Media Mecca. Complete with fish. Fuck dial-up.


That It Does

Me: I have an irrational and undying devotion to the movie 'Drumline.'
Austin Llewllyn: That sounds percussive.

Eli Whitney

laughterkey: Woo!
SuburbanMyth: Why are you wasting my time with woos?
laughterkey: Because I can.
SuburbanMyth: When did you procure a baby child?
laughterkey: Never.
SuburbanMyth: Your picture has one.
laughterkey: It's my sister's.
SuburbanMyth: Oh, I thought it may have been stolen.
laughterkey: She has 2 of them. I just borrow them from time to time.
SuburbanMyth: What is it useful for?
laughterkey: Carrying. Theyre great for working out.
SuburbanMyth: Doubtful.
laughterkey: Weights cost too much. If you just borrow children it's cheaper.
SuburbanMyth: Perhaps. It probably smells.
laughterkey: Depends on how long you borrow them for. And if you feed them.
SuburbanMyth: I have no use for one.
laughterkey: Not big on aerobics?
SuburbanMyth: No.
laughterkey: Yeah then they dont serve a huge purpose.
SuburbanMyth: Yes. You never procured my pants.
laughterkey: I quit. My apologies.
SuburbanMyth: From all places with pants?
laughterkey: From old navy. So more or less, yes.
SuburbanMyth: I consider that lazy.
laughterkey: I consider them sucky.
SuburbanMyth: I enjoy their pants.
laughterkey: As do I. However, I don't enjoy working for those pants.
SuburbanMyth: Whatever.
SuburbanMyth: You should use your child for manual labor.
laughterkey: Too young yet.
laughterkey: They can barely kick soccer balls.
SuburbanMyth: There's never a too young for manual labor.
laughterkey: Oh, words of wisdom.
SuburbanMyth: Such as cotton picking.
laughterkey: What are you, the modern day Eli Whitney?
SuburbanMyth: Perhaps.

Clearly, I'm Smitten

I watched a Japanese movie on TCM tonight called 'Mimi wo sumaseba' which, in english, means either 'If You Listen Closely' or 'Whisper of the Heart.' I was absolutely taken. If you ever, ever have the chance to watch it, do.


Hour 3

I need sleep.

That's My Boy

This is a picture of Jonah taken at Limey's the other night. I'm glad Justin and Joy have finally found a use for that big stroller shelf. My uncle's reply to the post was, "Jonah, don't you know you have to finish your beer before you pass out, buddy?"

Do Yourself A Favor

Go to www.ifilm.com and search for 'farting preacher'. Usually, I'm not one for fart jokes but there is something spectacular about these clips. Number 5 has the best editing throughout, hands-down.


Watch Me, Love Me.

Poor Rusty.

One of the funniest videos I have seen in quite some time.


My Very Own Garfield

To make your own, click on the cat.

Just A Few

Here's a few reasons why the people I know kick ass:
Filipe lifting someone.

In order of appearance on the right-hand side from top to bottom: Justin, Brad, Eric and Paul. How Saucy.

Me and Robert in Times Square last month.

I loved this shirt to begin with, for obvious reasons, however once I saw the back I was sold. It says, "Keep Austin Weird."


Walker, Texas Badass.

Okay, so truth be told, Chuck Norris actually creeps me out beyond description, but for some reason there is something oddly entertaining about his self-proclaimed 'tude. My main reason for finding humor in him is the Conan O'Brien "Walker, Texas Ranger" handle. Whatever the reasons, this made me laugh too, so enjoy it.

Chuck Norris has two speeds: walk and kill.

Chuck Norris graduated from Harvard with a degree in being god and a minor in spanish.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.

Merry Belated Christmas

Text of Letter From DeLay to Hastert
Saturday January 7, 2006 6:17 PM
By The Associated Press

Dear Mr. Speaker:

I am writing to inform you of my decision to permanently step aside as majority leader, and of my belief that the best interests of the conference would be served by the election of a new leader as soon as possible.

The job of majority leader and the mandate of the Republican majority are too important to be hamstrung, even for a few months, by personal distractions.

I will continue to serve my constituents and seek re-election to a 12th term representing Texas' 22nd district while I work to clear my name of the baseless charges leveled against me. I will also be reclaiming my seat on the Appropriations Committee when the second session of the 109th Congress convenes later this month.

Tom DeLay



laughterkey: you know, whatev
egiap312: whatev yousef
egiap312: and that is 'yourself' just in case you don't get my jive talk
laughterkey: hahah, oh no I got it, you crazy jewish decendant you!
laughterkey: followin' some jive-turkey carpenter
egiap312: hehe
laughterkey: speakin yiddish, listening to hasidic rappers.
laughterkey: kids these days
laughterkey: i tell ya
egiap312: haha
laughterkey: im slightly tangent-prone, no?


Lazy Sunday

I think I'm in love. Download it from free from iTunes if you have it. Otherwise look it up on Google videos. I don't care how you find it, WATCH IT.

Lazy sunday, wake up in the late afternoon, call Parnell to see how he's doing.
What up Parns?
Yo Samberg, whats crackin'?
You thinkin' what I'm thinking?
Narnia, man its happening, but first my hunger pains are sticking like duct tape.
Let's hit up Magnolia and mack on some cupcakes.
That bakery has all the bomb frostings.
I love those cupcakes like McAdams loved Gosling.

Two, no six, no twelve, bakers dozen!
I told you that im crazy for these cupcakes, cousin.
Yo, where's the movie playing?
Upper West Side, dude.
Well, Let's hit up Yahoo! maps to find the dopest route.
I prefer Mapquest.
Thats a good one too.
Google Maps is the best.
True that.
Double True.

68th and broadway, step on it sucker.
What you wanna do, Chris?
Snack Attack, Mother Fucker!

The Chronic (what) cles of Narnia
Yes, that Chronic (what) cles of Narnia
We love that Chronic (what) cles of Narnia
Pass that Chronic (what) cles of Narnia.

Yo stop at the deli, the theatre's overpriced.
You've got that backpack, gonna pack it up nice.
Don't want security to get suspicious.
Mr. Pibb and Red Vines equal crazy delicious.
Yo, reach in my pocket pull out some dough.
Girl acted like she's never seen a ten before.
It's all about the Hamiltons, baby.
Throw the snacks in the bag and I'm ghost like Swayze.

Roll up in the theatre.
Ticket buying while we're handling.
You could call us Aaron Burr from the way we're dropping Hamiltons.
We're parked in our seats.
Movie trivia is the illest.
Which 'Friends' alum stared in films with Bruce Willis?
We answer so fast that we're scary.
Everyone stared in awe when we screamed, "Matthew Perry."
Now quiet in the theatre or it's gonna get tragic.
We're about to get taken into a dream world of magic.

It's that Chronic (what) cles of Narnia
Yes that Chronic (what) cleas of Narnia
We love that Chronic (what) cles of Narnia
Pass that Chronic (what) cles of Narnia.