Clerks Drinking Game

Many thanks to NewsAskew for coming up with this wonderful little game. Have your friends over and enjoy, but don't, for the love of God, do anything stupid.

A reference to a non-askewniverse film is made (Star Wars, Jaws, Pretty In Pink, etc.)
Jay or Silent Bob raise their fist to someone approaching them
A character from another Askew-niverse film is mentioned
Any reference to hockey is made
Someone buys a pack of cigarettes (2 if this person happens to be a little girl)
A customer asks, "Are you open?" (2 drinks if the reply is "NO!!!")
Dante proclaims, "I'm not even supposed to BE here today!"
A lyric from "Berserker" is sung
Dante slams the cash register door closed in anger
A reference to Star Wars is made

Jay gives or offers any drug to another character
Any reference of Rick Derris having sex with someone is made
Any character gives another character advice that he/she received from his/her grandmother
A pop culture reference is made (use your own discretion)
Someone says "37"
A scene is inserted to allow a cut to break up a long take
Quik Stop or RST Video's doors are locked during normal business hours
Randall insults a customer
Someone mentions smelling the odor of shoe polish
Someone says, "Bunch of savages in this town"

Walt Flanagan's dog is mentioned in any context
Someone screws a dead guy
A word from from one of your high school vocabulary quizzes that you can't define appears onscreen
Lenin's Tomb is onscreen
Randal is seen "working" behind the counter at RST video

Silent Bob has a line (6 big ones!)

Choose a character and drink once each time their name is mentioned

In The Words Of Randall Graves...

Don't mess with the bull, young man. You'll get the horns.


"Hallelujah" by Leonard Cohen

Quite possibly one of the most hauntingly beautiful songs written. Enjoy the lyrics, loves.
Now I've heard there was a secret chord That David played, and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do you?
It goes like this
The fourth, the fifth
The minor fall, the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah

Your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you
She tied you to a kitchen chair
She broke your throne, and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah
You say I took the name in vain
I don't even know the name
But if I did, well really, what's it to you?
There's a blaze of light in every word
It doesn't matter which you heard
The holy or the broken Hallelujah
I did my best, it wasn't much
I couldn't feel, so I tried to touch
I've told the truth, I didn't come to fool you
And even though it all went wrong
I'll stand before the Lord of Song
With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah
Well, baby, I've been here before
I've seen this room, and I've walked this floor
I used to live alone before I knew you
But I've seen your flag on the marble arch
And love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it is a broken Hallelujah

Well, there was a time when you'd let me know
What's really going on below
But now you never show that to me, do you?
But remember when I moved in you
And the Holy Ghost was moving too
And every breath we drew was Hallelujah

Well, maybe there is a God above
But all that I've ever learned from love
Was how to shoot somebody who outdrew you
It's not a cry that you hear at night
And it is not somebody who has seen the light
It's a cold and it is a broken Hallelujah


Guy Ritchie Doesn't Always Kick Ass

MandaKaryn: I look "windswept"
laughterkey: hahah great! Just so long as you dont look 'swept away', cause that movie sucked real hard.
MandaKaryn: I'm listening to Right Said Fred's "I'm too sexy"
MandaKaryn: It makes me excited to go out because I'm not
MandaKaryn: Excited that is
MandaKaryn: I am too sexy
laughterkey: hahaha right on
laughterkey: Said Fred
MandaKaryn: hahahaha


Call On Me, Teach!

Just Wanted To Share...

For Amanda

Merlot and iTunes make for one sketchy cocktail.


Man-Sized Hamster Cage

"Luke Trerice knew revenge would come after he encased a friend's apartment in aluminum foil more than two years ago. "

My favorite part is that they filled his food bowl with cheetos.

Salsa Shark

“Man goes into cage, cage goes into salsa, shark’s in the salsa.”


Striking Terror Into The Hearts Of Millions...

Today's Forecast

30% chance of balloon animals with a high-pressure 'Creepy Clown' front approaching later in the day.


A language that lurks in dark alleys, beats up other languages and rifles through their pockets looking for spare vocabulary.


Apple Fifth Ave.

"This evening, Apple is opening a showcase store in Manhattan that will burnish the company's reputation for clever design. The entrance to the store, on Fifth Avenue between 58th and 59th Streets, is a glass cube, 32 feet on each side, with a suspended Apple logo inside. Customers walk down a circular staircase — or take a cylindrical glass elevator — to the 10,000-square-foot store below. The store will be open 24 hours a day, seven days a week."


It's A Party, All Right.

I like how they all have red solo cups. How apropos.


Grey's Gets Wet Hot

If anyone watched the first half of the Grey's Anatomy season finale last night, you might have been bothered by the fact that you couldn't figure out why you recognized the a-hole restaurant manager who wouldn't shut up. Fret no more, friends, his name is Ken Marino, of Wet Hot American Summer fame. I intended to put up some fun pictures but Blogger is sucking it up today. My apologies and I'll post them as soon as possible.


How Could I Forget To Share!

The other night I got to see Jamie Cullum live for the first time ever. Amazing. Stunning. If you EVER have the chance, GO. There aren't any pictures posted yet from the show I went to, but I poked around on Google and found some good shots from other shows that give a decent impression of what it's like to see him live. Enjoy!

Yes he's standing on the piano.

Singing like there's no tomorrow.
No drums? No problem, drum on the piano.


Coming September 5, 2006

Only Revolutions, a novel by Mark Z. Danielewski, author of House of Leaves.
"From Mark Z. Danielewski, author of best-selling House of Leaves, comes his astonishing Only Revolutions, a stunning shoot-from-the-hip American road novel about Sam & Hailey - two wild and wayward kids who magically career from the Civil War to the Iraq War and beyond. Powered by an ever-evolving fleet of cars, from Model T to Shelby Mustang, these two captivating teenagers never let up, and they never grow old. They crash parties in New Orleans, barrel up the Mississippi, and blast through the Badlands, cutting a nation in half even as they try to outrace History itself. And where this journey takes them is what sets the pages, even the actual book, turning. Alternating between Hailey & Sam, this kaleidoscopic novel spins the strangest, most gripping, and most lyrical love story published in more than a generation."
-Random House fall 2006 newsletter
12-city Author Tour to Austin, Boston, Chicago, Dallas, Denver, Los Angeles, New York, Portland, San Francisco, Seattle, and Washington D.C.

Best Sign Ever

And a ticket to Nambia for the shower.

*awkward cough*

So....it's been awhile. Sorry about that, finals week and all. And now, to make everything better, here is some choice graffiti:
(Check it out!)